New Year

Little hey, little ho.

it's 11.46 pm here and it's almost a new year. quite frankly, i'm afraid of what this new year is going to bring me. i'll be in my 20's. god i feel old already. Hopefully not daddy's little girl anymore where i can say whatever i want and wear whatever i like without being self-conscious. baby steps.

i don't like topics about death. i don't want to think about it. i'm not running away from it i just don't like discussing about the "here-after" and i get so mad when people bring up about it. brother, tumblr and whatnot. it's not even funny to begin with. anyway, mom's got a new job in Penang and after my finals she's bringing me to stay there with her for a few days. i kind of am looking forward to that escape from Him. yeah. i know i'll miss em but the reason i wanted to go to singapore was to get away for a while. but he came along. i was glad, sure. but i needed time on my own as well. of course i had the choice to tell him not to follow but i'll feel bad for doing so. like how i'd like to spend time with my friends ( i think they still are since i've completely abandoned them for a more smarter choice = Him ) but end up bringing him along because i wouldn't wanna go all "i wonder what he's doing in the dorm" and stuff.

I didn't make any resolutions for 2012. but i did like that one tweet that i retweeted.

"Resolutions: to make a resolution for next year"

i don't know why i liked this so much. i think because it makes sense. anyway, bought two dvd's with dad just now. Beastly and One Day. i should study instead of watching movies i have all the time in the world for that after finals in penang. For now that's it.

P.S! i think i have a crush on His mate, J. omg lol i feel like such a school girl. met him during the carnival. he thinks i'm cute ;)

From FB;

• • [] I've had a crush on you
    [x] I like your profile picture
    [x] You're cute
    [x] You're a stranger & that needs to change
    [♪] We need to talk more
    [♪] You're funny
    [] I love you
    [] I miss you
    [♪] We should chill
    [] You've made me mad
    [♪] You make me smile
    [] I would hug you
    [] I strongly dislike you
    [] I have no clue who you are
    [♪] I dare you to put this as your status so I can like it

20th December 2011

I don't know who he was, only talked to him once via Facebook chat, but his death moved me in a way that it was so unexpected i ALMOST cried. 

Revealing his name would give away who i am so at this point i'll just refer to him as "SS" 

He was 18. It was 3 am in the morning and he was driving. He crashed. 

I don't know how it happened, but it affected me more than it should. 

So young. He was only a teen. Studying still. 

Christmas

Hey, Christmas was yesterday but today is a public holiday here. Here's what i did for christmas.

(December)

23rd: Took a flight to Singapore with him.

24th: Woke up at 9 am to head off to USS, spend the day there till 6 pm.
         7pm- Dinner.

25th: Went to funan centre? (i don't remember) to get games, etc. Cotton On after, Converse and lastly         Forever 21. headed to the airport straight and checked in our bags before getting Subway. Went to the fragrances shop and Victoria Secret was there! I was so excited! He bought me a bottle of fragrance <3

Went home.

And here i am. back in my home country. I enjoyed Singapore a lot, i prefer living there than having to stay here really. Eventhough everything is twice as expensive there, it's worth it. Sigh. Next vacation...Australia maybe? Hopefully! Till then, Happy new year!

#2011memories

Eat, Pray, Love.

I've faked an account before. But here is where the real story starts.

I came home last night, parking in front of the gate (my spot) as usual, with my cat meowing from inside as i unlocked the door. She is the only one who greets me whenever i come home, in hopes of me giving her food. because i'm the only one who serves it the right way. the way she likes it.

i went upstairs, changed into my PJ's and started working on that page when an hour later my family came home, banging the door because i locked it. i ignored as usual knowing my sister would open it. My brother came up and gave me my car keys for me to move the car. from my spot. i stalled and when i went down dad grabbed the keys from me and moved the car himself. A simple task given and i failed anyway the same way i failed to send emails to other users like "yahoo" or "hotmail" blaming the fact that my email is retarded, knowing that i'm the moron who doesn't know how to work an e-mail. how foolish. i got upset so i tried to cheer myself up with that series show "new girl" and that didn't exactly work because watching videos online you only get the privilege of watching it up to 62 minutes now. without anything else to do i went on youtube. to watch the same debate video i watched previously, knowing that it will put me to sleep. and it did.

The next day i woke up at 12 pm, to an empty house. i was alone. with my cat. she's always there for me. i went downstairs to cook. i don't normally cook but there was nothing else other than instant noodles to eat (i'm on a diet, still deluding myself into thinking i'd be able to look like miranda kerr one day) so i did pasta with carbonara sauce (which was actually mushroom soup) and voila, that was breakfast. surprisingly i managed to finish this one because most of the time after two bites, my cooking goes untouched and into the trash. i went upstairs to watch eat, pray, love and realized how sentimental the movie was and how i felt the same way. Argued with him and now we don't know what to say to each other. i'm going through that "i don't know what to do with my life" phase again.

breakdown;

1. i DONT like the fact that i get so awkward around people lately.

2. i want that to change.

3. being bitchy boosts up my ego. the ego is still there but the bitchyness is near gone. is that a good thing?

4. is shaping myself to look like miranda kerr good? is there a better role model out there that i'd care about?

5. i'm not pretty. i'm not tall. i think i'm smart.