Hatred.

7.22 PM
May 17th.

So tomorrow is the grad dinner for my faculty. but that's not what i'm going to talk about today.

A couple of days ago, i was trying so hard to get the wifi connection from my dorm to type on this site about how i felt. Felt about what Him and His side of the family thought of me.


Sunday was elections. i joined them after they were done voting cause i wanted to "monitor" the damn thing. I knew i should've done it alone i just had this feeling i was going to impose.
We went to his Grandma's house after that around 1pm to wait for my dad who arrived an hour and a half later. His dad was hesitant to see my dad, something about my mom being there and his mom had to comfort her husband by saying that my mom wasn't there.

I think the hatred towards me is spreading. Now his family feels like i'm an imposition.

And you know how much i hate that.

I should just not talk to anybody or be commited in any relationship.

And i found out that he's been telling the wanking debater, A. about our relationship.
His response was "why do you still stay with her? If i were you i'd leave"
and it's not just him alone. Others too. I still want to find out who.
I'm keeping my distance with the other guys. They may seem nice on the outside but i definitely know what they're capable of now.

I am a user, yes. I deserve EVERYTHING. every bad statement these people made is the truth.
it's true. i am whatever they mentioned.

Why am i still with? because i need him. For studies.

I. am. a. user.


and i think his parents know it too.

Fuck where did the good times go when i was an independent bitch?